the BUNION
| America’s Finest News Source Not like those Dicks who left Wisconsin for the big money…. |
Volume 1, Issue 5
The Bunion predicts the end of the world on August 21. Please donate.
When viewing past issues use the browser back feature to return to the current issue. I am
not going to make it to easy for you. Also the Bunion will never Twitter. Ever!
not going to make it to easy for you. Also the Bunion will never Twitter. Ever!
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN DIES BEFORE COMPLETING HIS LIFE’S WORK
Killing all the women on The View.
Hippo swallows dwarf - a most tragic accident in Thailand
A hippopotamus reportedly swallowed a dwarf in a circus in northern Thailand.
The dwarf nicknamed "Od," died when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was
swallowed by a yawning hippo, which was waiting for the next act.
Vets on the scene said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex that caused her to automatically
swallow.
The vets also claimed it was the first time Hilda had ever eaten a circus performer. We hope
it is the first and last time!
Unfortunately, the 1,000- odd spectators continued to applaud wildly, but fortunately,
commonsense prevailed. There had been a tragic mistake.
THAI police said the trampoline would be sent for a forensic analysis.
A hippopotamus reportedly swallowed a dwarf in a circus in northern Thailand.
The dwarf nicknamed "Od," died when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was
swallowed by a yawning hippo, which was waiting for the next act.
Vets on the scene said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex that caused her to automatically
swallow.
The vets also claimed it was the first time Hilda had ever eaten a circus performer. We hope
it is the first and last time!
Unfortunately, the 1,000- odd spectators continued to applaud wildly, but fortunately,
commonsense prevailed. There had been a tragic mistake.
THAI police said the trampoline would be sent for a forensic analysis.
OSHKOSH, WI, COMPLETES ITS FINAL ROUND-ABOUT
Thanks to a 270 million dollar stimulus grant, the city of Oshkosh finished
its last round-about. Mayor Cilas Finkel opened 9th Street to traffic with
flourish and ribbon cutting. He said, “We are proud that we created jobs and
improved our city's traffic.” When asked how many jobs were created, the
Mayor did not have any figures because the contractors were from
Alabama. He did say it was a bunch.
Thanks to a 270 million dollar stimulus grant, the city of Oshkosh finished
its last round-about. Mayor Cilas Finkel opened 9th Street to traffic with
flourish and ribbon cutting. He said, “We are proud that we created jobs and
improved our city's traffic.” When asked how many jobs were created, the
Mayor did not have any figures because the contractors were from
Alabama. He did say it was a bunch.
Local News:
Milly Felker, 93, and Hortence Bilkey, 88, both of Oshkosh, were involved in a minor traffic
accident on 9th Street at 5:43 pm today. Milly reportedly was driving in circles for over 30
minutes on the newly opened roundabout. She then rear ended Mrs. Bilkey as Bilkey also
appeared to be doing the same. The police speculate that they either were confused or
simply caught up in the excitement of the round-about experience. The Bunion contacted
Milly at her home after treatment at the local hospital. All she said was, “I hate those
fucking things, and the Mayor an idiot.”
Milly Felker, 93, and Hortence Bilkey, 88, both of Oshkosh, were involved in a minor traffic
accident on 9th Street at 5:43 pm today. Milly reportedly was driving in circles for over 30
minutes on the newly opened roundabout. She then rear ended Mrs. Bilkey as Bilkey also
appeared to be doing the same. The police speculate that they either were confused or
simply caught up in the excitement of the round-about experience. The Bunion contacted
Milly at her home after treatment at the local hospital. All she said was, “I hate those
fucking things, and the Mayor an idiot.”
Milly Felker
WEINER ADMITTS TWITTERING NUDE PHOTOS TO YOUNG WOMEN
Today, embattled Democrat Anthony Weiner told the Washington Press Corps that he indeed sent
many explicit messages and nude photos to a number of young women. Many in Congress are
calling for him to resign or be censored. National newspapers and tabloids are having a field day
with this breaking story and are using the congressman’s name to fabricate tawdry headlines.
many explicit messages and nude photos to a number of young women. Many in Congress are
calling for him to resign or be censored. National newspapers and tabloids are having a field day
with this breaking story and are using the congressman’s name to fabricate tawdry headlines.
In keeping with the Bunion's commitment to quality news, we will not stoop so low as to use this
story in any manner that would be considered poor taste. The Bunion has rejected numerous
headlines that we feel would demean our reputation.
story in any manner that would be considered poor taste. The Bunion has rejected numerous
headlines that we feel would demean our reputation.
These are some of the rejected headlines we at the Bunion will not use. The Bunion will
always err in the name of good taste.
always err in the name of good taste.
WEINER EXPOSED!
WEINER HUNG OUT TO DRY
IS THE WEINER COOKED?
WEINER COMES OUT
TWITTERING WEINER
WEINER COMES CLEAN
WEINER IN A HARD PLACE
WEINER SHOWED WEINER
WEINER’S A DICK
WEINER HUNG OUT TO DRY
IS THE WEINER COOKED?
WEINER COMES OUT
TWITTERING WEINER
WEINER COMES CLEAN
WEINER IN A HARD PLACE
WEINER SHOWED WEINER
WEINER’S A DICK
The Bunion will never do this kind of reporting!
